4/16/2004

Fearful Friday:
The Rude Pundit is still reeling from the Tuesday press conference. For some reason, in the pit of his gut, the Rude Pundit is actually frightened. It ain't funny when the commander of the "most powerful army the world has ever known" reveals himself to be out of touch with reality. It's not a joke any more. There is no concrete reason left for the invasion of Iraq that has anything to do with "security." Most likely, Bush will go down in long-term history as having ordered mass murder. And if we re-elect him (or, more accurately, elect and not install him), we're just accomplices. And anyone who still supports the invasion (not the troops, dumbass motherfuckers) is simply someone who believes America should be able to murder at will. Like the Rude Pundit said, scary. Not funny at all. If you haven't read it yet, check out William Saletan's Slate article on the press conference. It'll give you that great nauseated feeling that we have checked into the nutzoid hotel and we can never leave. Maybe Bob Woodward's new book will make up for his previous kneepad-using blow job on Bush. It seems like it's gonna be really fun reading.

What is funny in a scary way is the suggestion by reader John how relevant the 1956 Robert Aldrich movie Attack is at this point in our war: "Basically it's about an incompetent and cowardly officer who gets put in charge of an infantry company for political reasons relating to his daddy. Sometimes you even feel sorry for the guy, because he's like a little kid stuck in a grownup's body, but in the end his actions cost a lot of lives and his own men kill him in revulsion. It made me feel a weird mix of pity and outrage, so it stuck in my memory. All of Bush's recent speeches make me feel like I'm watching it again." Throw in the fact that it's about a National Guard Troop, and you've got your weekend viewing. (Personally, the Rude Pundit likes the idea of cabinet meetings between Rumsfeld and Powell being more like Aldrich's Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, with, of course, Rumsfeld as Bette Davis and Powell as Joan Crawford.)

As long as we're on the pop culture kick, check out the 2002 book Orange Crush by Tim Dorsey. It's about a privileged incompetent boob lieutenant governor of Florida who, just before his gubernatorial election campaign kicks in, he has to fulfill military duty he skipped out on. The experience of war in Bosnia changes the boob into a man of the people, much to the chagrin of his keepers, and he heads out on the road in an RV to get to know the state he's governing. It's actually hilarious, and by the time the election comes around, when people are "hanging chads in effigy," you're into a savage, kick-you-in-nuts farce. (The book is more of a kick if you've read Dorsey's other books because of the appearance of a character from previous novels, but it's not necessary.)

Also feeling savage is Rae Ann, who writes, without the impediment of capital letters: "every time i hear the ultimate bullshit fake president say something i feel my blood pressure rise. on easter when he so generously offered a couple of words in response to the reaction of the declassified pdb, he said that there was talk in the pdb of possible highjackings, but NOT of highjacking a plane in order to slam in into a building. correct me if i'm missing something, but what the fuck? a traditional highjacking isn't something to try and prevent?? . . . i can't wait to hear about the hundreds of terrorist attacks that have been foiled since implementing the patriot act."

Back to scary: Vibrate sends a link to this page on Janet Ashcroft and her Pentecostal evangelizing ways. On America's Future, she opines, "I’d like to see the American people have an ongoing, long-term realization of the need for the values that we have reembraced since September 11. It’s a terrible thing when God has to jerk us up short and say, 'Remember what this is all about.' I hope that this country can set itself up and set up a mechanism so that we don’t forget those events and that we remember that God is in control and that we owe our first allegiance to Him. I pray we continue to serve Him, because when we do, we will be blessed." Isn't it lovely that the Attorney General's wife thinks that 9/11 was God's wake-up call to return us to Christian "values"? That's why all those Muslims were involved. And why those Jews died. And all those apparently sinful Christians, especially the poor fuckers in the service industry. If that's the God of these people, then the Rude Pundit will stick with his little statue of Lenny Bruce and worship accordingly.

Back Monday.