2/11/2005

Who Would Fuck Gannon?:
The fine, fine investigative work at AMericablog and Kos continues on the whole Jeff Gannon/James Guckert/who the fuck let this guy have a White House press pass/ hey-wait-a-minute-is-this-self-proclaimed-"Christian"-a-pimp-for-military-"escorts" affair. And today, the Rude Pundit had intended an examination of the prone mainstream media that lets the White House and the Religious Right dictate sexual mores despite their own blatant dishonesty on that account. But, instead, rude reader Joseph A has done something amazingly cruel and amazingly funny and, indeed, it must be noted.

Joseph A took the now famous Jeff Gannon in his underwear picture, with that "come hither and give me yon cock" look, and posted a fake personal ad on Craigslist in Chicago. Under the category Men Seeking Men, with the heading "Looking For Military Men," Joseph A wrote, "Hot Washington DC military guy, 47, 6'1" 195, in Chicago for journalism conference. Looking to host at my downtown hotel. I'm into safe fun and Republican-themed pillow talk with a similar Log Cabin Republican or closeted military guy. Masc guys only; discretion assured." And under that, the Gannon pic.

This is an experiment, Joseph A says. Let's see what kind of responses "Jeff Gannon" might get from gay men who'd sure like to fuck him. Why, here they are under the heading "Chicago Gay Republicans Like 'Military Man'" (One bit of info: in the response post, Joseph A wrote he also had an ad posted in Washington). And, oh, my stars and garters, what a view of Bush lovers who hate bush.

1. "Too bad you are obviously a bullshit pic collector or just some jerk trying to get a rise out of others by making the Republican comments...You are (or whoever the pic is of is) a hot looking man. And I think we could have a lot of fun. (Hot looking, well-built former military guy here.) But seeing as you are posting for hookups in BOTH DC and Chicago on the same day, you aren't serious about a hookup."

2. "hey bud, we look like a match......Jim here.......neg vers top.........cleancut exec, Ivy League guy with MBA........44, 5'11", 180 lbs, clean shaven, buzzed brn, brn eyes, mod hairy, hung 7.5 x 5.5 cut, shaved nuts, german background, neg top.........."

3. "I don't care what you are, military or not, democrat or republican....you are one hell of a hot man! Just wanted you to know!!!"

4. "Hey bud...welcome to town. Sorry about being from a blue state but we'll always take any "right of center" guys we can. I'm pretty far right as well. 6'1'205 great bod, fun to hang with and full-blooded midwesterner. Love political talk and I think I know most of the Hillary jokes but if you've got more, I'm up for it!"

5. "Hey, normally I dont say this but thought I'd drop you a line... I'm 23 years old..good looking and GAY...ya and I'm out too..but i'm a Republican. Sure I think ole' George has made some mistakes..but hes a million times better than Kerry. I'm sick of gay guy saying you have to be democrat just because your gay... I hold a lot of the republican views as a partner in a family biz... Democrats alway bring new laws/taxes into that effect me (my company) in a bad way. So ya, at 23, I'm gay, out, and Republican! LOL...just thought I'd tell you being you get harassed."

6. "how about a handsome italian liberal democrat? .. who was an eagle scout? me: 5'11" 187lbs. muscled/ 44 chest/33w 7.5 thick cock / cut rimming/jo/sucking/top hiv-/ddfree/safe only/ drug free"

7. "I just wanted to say welcome to Chicago from a fellow Republican. I am 30, well, will be 31 in April. Moved here a few years ago from near New Orleans. My step-grandfather used to have coffee with Trent Lott a few times a week and I worked for his campaign."

Now we can boo-hoo for poor James Guckert and the alleged harassment he has "suffered" since he dared (a la Gary Hart) people to find out about him (yeah, he did, on his website, saying he lived in plain sight). But, ya know, the motherfucker put himself out there, asking questions that are destructive toward Democrats, acting as a propagandist for the Bush administration (with or without the administration's complicity), and lying about who he is. And considering the way the soldiers of the right wreck the lives of anyone on the left they see as an enemy, be they a doctor who performs abortions or a Democratic President of the United States, Jeff Gannon/James Guckert is small change in the realm of payback.