3/02/2012

The Most Bizarrely Offensive Shit Rush Limbaugh Said About Sandra Fluke:
It has truly been one of the more bizarro episodes in the entire sad life of sad fat man Rush Limbaugh. The radio talk show host (and let's be clear: that's what he is and that's all he is) took it on himself to go after Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke for her testimony to a Democratic congressional committee on a mandate that religious-connected institutions and businesses provide contraception coverage for women (which was put together after Darrell Issa's awesome sausage-fest hearing). Eminently reasonable and rational, Fluke offered medical reasons beyond stopping pregnancy for providing a drug that keeps many women just plain healthy. This is not to mention the simple fact that, in order for contraceptive pills to work, they have to be taken daily, and it's not one pill per coitus session.

Limbaugh and others on the right decided that this meant Fluke wanted to fuck all the time. And for two days now (and probably today), Limbaugh has been going on about how much Fluke must want to fuck constantly. And, truly, it's weird, creepy, offensive and even creepier than you might imagine. The intense rape mentality that fills Limbaugh's attacks on a woman who just testified on an issue she has been involved in for a decade is kind of frightening and pathetic and desperate:

"Sandra Fluke [is] the Georgetown student who went before a congressional committee and said she's having so much sex, she's going broke buying contraceptives and wants us to buy them."

"That woman goes up to congressional committee and is asking for her contraception to be paid for so she can have unlimited, no-consequences sex...If this woman wants to have sex ten times a day for three years, fine and dandy...Why go before a congressional committee and demand that all of us -- because they want to have sex any time, as many times and as often as they want, with as many partners as they want -- should pay for it?"

(Quoting a misleading CNS article) "'Apparently, four out of every ten co-eds are having so much sex that it's hard to make ends meet if they have to pay for their own contraception, Fluke's research shows.' And of course what's sex if the ends aren't meeting?" (Um, does Limbaugh know how to have sex?)

"So she earns enough money in just one summer to pay for three full years of sex, and they're full years because she and her co-ed classmates are having sex nearly three times a day for three years straight, apparently...And what about these deadbeat boyfriends or random hookups that these babes are encountering here, having sex with nearly three times a day? While in law school."

"Okay, so this is a law student at a congressional committee asking for us ... to ... pay ... for ... the ... things ... that ... make ... it ... possible ... for ... her ... to ... have ... sex.

Therefore we are paying her to have sex.

Therefore we are paying her for having sex.

We are getting screwed even though we don't meet her personally!"

"So, Ms. Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal: If we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. And I'll tell you what it is. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch...if we're gonna sit here, and if we're gonna have a part in this, then we want something in return, Ms. Fluke: And that would be the videos of all this sex posted online so we can see what we are getting for our money."

"You know, folks, millions of women enjoy sex in the back of a car. You have some women that can't afford a car. What are we to do? What is our solution to women who prefer sex in the backseat of a car but can't afford a car?"

"Did you notice in that sound bite Sheila Jackson Lee or Maria Cantwell or one of them talked about the strength that Sandra Fluke had to go before Congress, which is amazing. She's having so much sex it's amazing she can still walk, but she made it up there...Ms. Fluke, have you ever heard of not having sex? Have you ever heard of not having sex so often?"

Oh, and the Rude Pundit's favorite new creepiest Limbaugh moment:

"We assume they're having sex with guys. (interruption) Well, we're talking about birth control, Snerdley. So you gotta assume having sex with guys. So, do they not have some responsibility? (interruption) Well, two women... I have to ask sex expert Snerdley on this, but I'm not aware that two women without another device can get pregnant on their own using naturally endowed accoutrements. I don't think times have changed that much. (chuckles)"

Followed very quickly by:
"She wants us to buy her sex. She wants us to pay for her sex, and she went to a congressional committee to close the sale. It's the right place to do that. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

There you go. It's so funny. Ha-ha, send Rush sex videos, you whores, or shut your fucking legs and, especially, your fucking mouths.

(By the way, this is all from yesterday. It leaves out the original, classic: "What does it say about the college co-ed Sandra Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex, what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex she can't afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We're the pimps. (interruption) The johns? We would be the johns? No! We're not the johns. (interruption) Yeah, that's right. Pimp's not the right word. Okay, so she's not a slut. She's 'round heeled.' I take it back.")