6/06/2016

In Brief: Chris Christie Supported a Muslim Judge, Unlike His Master, Trump (Updated)

At some point, when the Trump-brand ball gag is taken out and the Melania-approved anal speculum is removed from him, perhaps New Jersey Governor Chris Christie would like to comment on something his jowly orange master said yesterday. See, back before he was trying to show that he was the craziest, cumgobbling whore in the GOP brothel, Christie would occasionally do something honorable. Such was the case in 2011, when Christie appointed Sahail Mohammed as a judge on a state Superior Court. Mohammed, an Indian-American, is Muslim, and, as an attorney, he had defended detainees who had been arrested in the post-9/11 hysteria. None of his clients were ever charged with terrorism-related crimes.

When some members of the state Senate asked Mohammed questions about his loyalty to the United States and about Sharia Law, and when Christie himself was raked over the coals for this appointment by conservative media, the governor went, as is his way, ballistic. "Ignorance is behind the criticism of Sohail Mohammed," Christie exclaimed at a press conference on August 3, 2011. "He is an extraordinary American who is an outstanding lawyer and played an integral role in the post-September 11th period in building bridges between the Muslim American community in this state and law enforcement." And, as if to put an exclamation point on it, he added, "The guy is an American citizen...it’s just unnecessary to be accusing this guy of things just because of his religious background."

So someone's gotta ask Christie a simple question: "Do you agree with Donald Trump that a judge might treat him unfairly just because the judge is Muslim?" Because that's what Trump said yesterday on Face the Nation when he was asked about it by John Dickerson. "It's possible, yes," Trump trumped. "Yeah. That would be possible, absolutely."

Right now, Christie's approval rating in the state is less than "That Shitty Bon Jovi Cover Band at That Bar in Paramus." It's lower than most diseases. At this pace, Christie, once the hope of idiot Republicans, will leave office a pariah. And much of the recent drop is due to his becoming Donald Trump's penis cozy.

Look, Chris, man, you could make your approval rating jump by at least a dozen points if you told Trump to go fuck himself. Oh, sure, this blogger would still fucking despise you for your myriad broken deals and attacks on working people. But all those easily duped voters who long for tough-guy Christie to appear again will welcome you back like a goddamned warrior.

Chances are, though, that Trump is paying you shitloads of money to do his bidding. And if that's the case, let's hope he keeps those nipple clamps extra tight on you.

Update: Christie completely defended Trump today. Apparently, the governor loves orange cock and jizz that tastes like tanning dye.